I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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