dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it's like iHOP with fire
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
