Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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