mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ttyl tear gas
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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