There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
