For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
