she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
