so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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