I cockslap morals
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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