We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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