Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
