I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
