great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
