Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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