you would pick up someone in the library
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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