Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
