I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
