You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
