After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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