Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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