She's JV to your varsity
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
