Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's never too late to be topless.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
