You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
