Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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