We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
