i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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