You did not just play the dead husband card again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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