oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
