plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
