he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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