and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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