scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
