It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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