So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
