her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize