If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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