There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
