i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
