After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We got so high we made milksteak
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
