I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
