I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
