Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
