I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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