I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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