remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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