Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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