thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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