google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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