I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i dont even know how to be here
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
