I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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