Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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